Don’t force us to tell your kids the truth

I am the spokesanimal for Small Animals Against Anthropomorphizing® and we’re pissed off.

You people never seem to understand that every time you give us human characteristics we suffer. Life is difficult enough being a small critter without you piling on the addition of people-type feelings and then projecting your…

Hard to say for sure, because I’ve seen a top-secret report that could destroy the United States and they’re after me

To whomever (not whoever… right?) finds this letter:

If you’re reading this letter it means I’m dead. Well, maybe not fully dead. Perhaps I’m just rotting in an undisclosed government location waiting to be tortured. Well, not really undisclosed. Obviously, the federal thugs who would have grabbed me out of…

Larry Kahaner

I have been a serious writer and journalist for decades. Now, I’m not — serious, that is. I also write about writing; it’s about the only thing I know.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store